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Shampoo looked at Xian Mao in shock..
"<…extend my hand in truce.>" echoed through her mind. She knew not what this boy or his people might have done to her and her own, but with the rash impulse of the young (especially those young who found their way to Nerima Tokyo) she decided she didn’t care. Besides, something about this boy’s slit-pupiled eyes called to her.
"<In truce,>" she said formally, "<I accept your hand and extend my own.>"
Back at the Tendou Dojo, Saotome Ranma sat alone. He was in the practice hall, and though night had fallen, he hadn’t bothered to turn on the lights.
Ranma shuddered as he heard an ally cat cry… the fear that was the Neko-ken coursing through his mind and body.
As the first stars started to come out, Saotome Ranma began to cry.
Cologne looked up as she heard the formal words. Too late, though, for as she leapt over, Shampoo had already taken the newcomer’s hand.
"To whom have you sworn truce?" she demanded coldly. Xian Mao flinched, knowing immediately that he’d erred… not in declaring Truce, but in declaring it to Shampoo rather than the matriarch.
"To I, honored matriarch," Xian Mao interjected, hoping to bring as much wrath as possible from Xian Pu’s shoulders to his own… illogically, she was already wed, and the matriarch had the look of one who’d seen to much to fall for such a simple ploy. But Xian Pu was amazingly attractive, and he… he was hopeless…
"And who precisely ARE you," Cologne demanded, "to make truce?"
Xian Mao bowed low, humbling himself best as he could. "I am Xian Mao, of the Wang-Mao-Yue temple."
Cologne’s eyes narrowed.
"Do not ask, for I will not declare truce," she stated flatly.
Xian Mao gulped, hoping that he was not about to die.
"But," she continued after a brief pause, "as you have sworn truce with my great-granddaughter, I will choose not to remember our people’s feud… until such time as you cross my path."
"May we pray that it never comes to that," Xian Mao murmured.
Cologne closed the Neko-hanten early, and joined Shampoo and Xian Mao at one of the tables. Mousse was send off to the kitchen to clean.
After a few minutes of careful, probing questions, Cologne decided that Xian Mao could be trusted with part of the story.
Shampoo, he was told, had come to Japan to make Ranma and his father pay in blood for a grievous insult. Cologne wasn’t clear about exactly what that insult may have been, but Xian Mao did not feel secure in pressing her for information. So Shampoo had found Ranma, seeking vengeance.
But Ranma had defeated her in combat, and somehow won her heart (well, they had to wed anyway… Ranma being an outsider, and Amazon Law being what it was).
There were complications however… three of them: a girl named Tendou Akane, Kuonji Ukyou, and Kuno Kodachi. Each claimed the position of Ranma’s bride.
This struck him as odd, but… Japan, after all, had different ways of doing things than they did back in China.
"Spatula-girl no good for Ranma, he no like her like that; violent-girl no good for Ranma, she no love him like Shampoo does, no can cook, and always hitting him; ribbon girl…" Shampoo seemed to struggle for words.
Cologne put it succinctly: "Miss Kuno is barely sane."
Xian Mao had taken his glasses off and was rubbing at his eyes.
"Ancestors!" he breathed, "What have I gotten myself into?"
"A good question," Cologne replied. "What -are- you doing here? Why is it that you are looking for the groom?"
Xian Mao thought for a little bit before answering with a question: "Do you know of a technique called the Neko-ken?"
"Yes, actually. Ranma is the first I’ve seen use it in…" Cologne grinned sheepishly. "Let us not think on how long it has been."
Xian Mao smiled at the matriarch, his defenses coming down some.
Then the old woman’s eyes narrowed.
"And it is taught only at the temple of Wang-Mao-Yue."
Xian Mao nodded.
"Yes, honored matriarch. That is why I have come… or, rather, been sent. We have heard of Ranma’s plight with the Cat Fist, and they have sent me to try to complete his training. It is our duty, as the guardians of the Yin Cat Goddess."
Cologne nodded.
"It is good if the groom becomes stronger. A true Amazon’s groom must be powerful."
Xian Mao nodded in agreement, wishing with every fiber of his being that he were somewhere else.
"Ranma?"
He didn’t look up. Akane sighed, and walked to the center of the dojo. Ranma didn’t even bother to move away.
"I brought you some food… It’s not mine, baka… Kasumi made it."
For several minutes, Ranma continued to ignore her. Patiently, Akane waited; she knew that soon enough, Ranma’s appetite would win out over this strange, black depression that had come over him.
She was right.
"Kawaiikune," Ranma muttered as he snatched the food from Akane’s hands.
"Baka," she growled in response, but left without assaulting him.
In the morning, Xian Mao left the Neko-hanten. Cologne had offered him a place to sleep out of the rain, and a bath. Common sense had won out over his fears, and he had accepted.
Now, as the sun began to come up over the horizon, he could almost see how this nation had found the name "Land of the Rising Sun". In a word, beautiful.
Xian Mao ran his hands back through his hair, clean for the first time in weeks. He was dressed in what looked like a dark grey kung fu uniform, topped off by a dark blue sleeveless longvest, more Tibetan or Indian in style than Chinese. At the trim of all, fine Magickal characters were stitched in black. The symbols did nothing, save to look impressive. A few were minor wards of protection, but given the chaos that surrounded Nerima, he doubted that they were worth much.
Tugging on his earring, Xian Mao set off in hope of inspiration.
He was fairly sure he could trust the Amazons, but there was a part of him he could not ignore that screamed "other sources!". After a little thought, he had decided that the paranoid little voice had a point.
But where to get that information? Therein lied the problem.
Perhaps at the school? The Amazons had hinted a couple times that Ranma attended the local high school… Furinken. Maybe he’d stop there, try asking around.
Finding the school wasn’t -too- difficult… although it took him an hour or so. By the time he found it, people had already begun loitering on the grounds, waiting for the first bell.
Given Ranma’s infamy, Xian Mao felt that the direct approach would be best. So, walking up to the first person he came across—a young man with long (-LONG-) brown hair, and a spatula strapped to his back. Maybe okonomiyaki chef martial arts was common in this region?
"Excuse me," he said, tapping the young man on the shoulder, "do you know anyone who could tell me of Saotome Ranma?"
Then it struck him… this wasn’t a boy. His sharp nose—another "benefit" of the Neko-ken… animal senses—picked up the faintest of scents… a scent the animal part of his mind told him meant "fertile". He gulped, realizing he’d probably just found the "spatula girl" Ukyou…
Someone tapped her on the shoulder.
"Excuse me," they said. Strange, the few who bothered talking to her were rarely so polite. "do you know anyone who could tell me about Saotome Ranma?"
It was a man, of course. Taking in the Kung Fu suit and the strange, sleeveless longvest, and his slight accent, Ukyou came to the conclusion that this was another Amazon, most likely here to investigate or slay Ranma, hoping to either see him wed to Shampoo or take that position himself.
At least this one was better looking, and seemed to be smarter than, Mousse.
"Why don’t you just talk to Cologne? You’re from their village, aren’t you?"
Having, from Shampoo’s manner whenever the "spatula girl" came up, a fairly good idea of how little the two liked one another, and an idea what the probable reaction to any relation to her might be, Xian Mao took the safest way out that he could see: he evaded.
"Who?"
"Cologne, Shampoo’s great-grandmother. The old ghoul, y’know?"
"Who? I do not know these people. I am new-come here, looking for Ranma… but I wish to know the situation, first."
Ukyou snorted. "That’s a first."
Xian Mao wasn’t quiet sure where to go from here. He had a feeling that Ukyou’s side of the story might be interesting, but with a good portion of his mind distracted by a little voice that kept whispering "she’s fertile, mate with her! She’s fertile, mate with her!" and the effort in keeping that voice in check… he was not able to fully concentrate upon the matter at hand.
"Do you know Ranma?" he hazarded, trying to find a way to "figure out" that this "boy" was Ukyou, and ask the questions that he really wanted to.
"Yeah, I know the jackass. Why are you looking for him?"
"I have some… information he might… be interested in.
"A cure?" she hazarded.
"Say what? Cure for what?"
"For his curse, jackass!"
"Ranma has a curse? I don’t know anything about… what is it’s nature?"
"Don’t know about that, hunh? Well, then it ain’t my place to tell you."
Xian Mao shrugged. "Very well. I can… respect that."
Ukyou looked at him strangely. "What’s the matter? You seem distracted."
Xian Mao blushed. "It’s just, um… er… that you’re, um…" he motioned her closer, and whispered in her ear. "… you are… um… fertile. I can… er… smell it."
Ukyou’s eyes got wide, then narrowed. The spatula came down off her back, and toward Xian Mao in one fell swoop. Putting to use his near-inhuman agility, Xian Mao slid under the gigantic cooking tool and struck Ukyou across the face with a back-handed swipe, then placed his other had solidly in her breastbone. He was strong, and the breath *whooshed* out of Ukyou’s lungs. Ukyou staggered a few steps back, catching her breath quickly. She then switched from "swat the source of embarrassment" mode, to "full power" mode.
Xian Mao, who had no way of knowing Ukyou’s caliber as a martial artist made an error: he failed to back down, or to use any of his most advanced techniques.
The young monk/priest got his butt handed to him.
Ukyou stared in shock as the strange new boy began to pick himself back up. It had been pathetic how easily she’d beaten him… he’d barely been able to retaliate. But even after the ungodly whooping she’d just given him—and she had to at least give him credit there: he soaked damage almost as well as Ryouga—he was already getting back up.
Clearly, though, he was in pain.
"Are you okay? I thought… I shouldn’t have gone all-out on you…"
The boy groaned. "It’s okay… I really asked for it…"
He pulled himself into a sitting position.
"I guess you must be the Kuonji Ukyou I heard mentioned…"
He had decided that he might as well just confront her. Hopefully, she’d be distracted enough that she wouldn’t press him for -where- exactly he’d heard of her.
"Yeah," she admitted, "that’s me."
"I am called Xian Mao. Nice to meet you."
Ukyou raised an eyebrow.
"Okay, maybe it -would- have been, under different circumstances," somehow his mind finally kicked into gear… maybe the pain was forcing down his run-away sex drive. "How ‘bout you pay me back for the overkill by telling me what the scoop with Ranma is?"
"Okay," Xian Mao said incredulously, "let me get this straight: you came here, disguised as a boy, to kill Ranma’s father and get even with them both. Then, Ranma found out you were a girl… decided you were the "cute" fiancee, and you began falling in love with him."
Ukyou nodded in agreement, sitting across from him by the wall.
"But, he was already engaged to this Tendou Akane by their fathers… just as he had been, oh… who knows how many times. Then there’s Shampoo, to whom he’s married by Amazon law. And this Kodachi person who’s just attached herself to him out of nowhere. That about right?"
Ukyou nodded again.
"But you’re the one he should marry because you love him, and you’re the best friend he’s ever had; Akane doesn’t even like him, can’t cook, and is incredibly violent; Shampoo’s wrong because he doesn’t love her; and Kodachi… Kodachi’s just crazy. That it?"
Ukyou nodded.
"Wow. What a mess."
Ukyou nodded.
"Baka, why couldn’t he just come to school? It’s not -that- bad… everybody looses, sometime."
Akane stormed in the gate, more than half-expecting something to go horribly wrong. It would be fitting with the way things were going lately.
"Akane!" yelled Ukyou, dashing up from the tree in the middle of the courtyard. She took Akane’s shoulders. "How’s Ranma?"
"He’s…" Akane began, then saw a boy walking over in clothing similar to Ranma’s, save that it was dark grey, and he wore a strange longvest with no sleeves. His hair was thick, and came down to his shoulders and a short goatee. He wore small circle wireframe glasses, and a rackish earring.
And he looked hike he’d just had his ass kicked.
"Who’s that?" she asked the okonomiyaki chef.
"That, that’s Xian Mao. He’s here looking for Ran-chan."
"What’s he want with that baka? The last thing we need right now is someone -new- trying to kill him…"
"Yeah…"
The Chinese boy had hobbled himself over to them by now.
"What’s this about people trying to kill Ranma?"
The two girls twitched, wondering how he’d heard them, he’d been several feet away, and they’d been whispering.
"So is this Akane?" The boy asked. The two girls nodded.
"Hi," he smiled. "I’d bow, but Ukyou here gave me a pretty good whomping, and I’m a little too sore."
"You should visit Dr. Tofu, he’ll help you. C’mon Ukyou! We need to get to class!"
Xian Mao stared at the two retreating figures.
They had, of course, failed to tell him where this Dr. Tofu’s clinic was. Guess I’ll just have to ask, he decided. After a few minutes of searching, however, he couldn’t find anyone at all, much less anyone to give him directions.
Cupping his hands as if around a small ball, he began muttering the words to a Scrying spell. It took a good deal of effort, since he neither knew Tofu nor the clinic, nor even their approximate location, but he succeeded after a bit. Exhausted, but exhilarated by the use of his magick. Confidently, he began straight toward Dr. Tofu’s clinic.
"Are you a friend of Ranma’s?" the doctor asked as he began putting Xian Mao’s joints back together, and patching up the bruises.
"Say what?"
"No? Well, I thought you might be, since you dress similar to him. The Kung Fu suit, I mean."
Xian Mao shrugged.
"I don’t actually know him, personally."
"Mmm. He’s really a good boy, if he can keep from blurting things out. There ya go!"
"Domo." Xian Mao began digging in his pockets, looking for money with which to repay the good doctor. "Um, sir?"
"Yes?"
"I seem to have run out of money. Is there any other way I can repay you?"
"No need," the doctor said, smiling. "But tell me, what happened to you?"
"I found myself on the wrong end of Kuonji Ukyou’s battle spatula."
"Really? Ukyou’s usually such a sweet girl."
"Yeah… except that… well…"
The doctor laughed. "Flirting were you?"
"No. You know she poses as a guy, right? At school?"
"Yes. What about it?"
"I cold tell she was female by smell… she’s fertile right now."
Dr. Tofu blinked. "You can tell?"
"Yeah… it’s part of my Nature."
"Interesting. Are you new in town?"
"Yeah, why?"
"I don’t know. You just seemed that way, for some reason."
Xian Mao nodded.
"You haven’t come after Ranma, have you?"
"You know," he said, exasperated, "you’re the third person today to ask me that?"
"Really?" the doctor asked, intrigued. "Who else?"
"First Ukyou, then Akane. And the matriarch Cologne, yesterday. Is there any particular reason that that’s the first question everyone asks me?"
Dr. Tofu Ono thought about it for a few moments before answering., "Anytime someone shows up looking for Ranma, they seem to either want to marry him or kill him. Ryouga showed up one day demanding that Ranma pay for not finishing a duel. Then Shampoo showed up, and she was after his blood, too. Of course, then he defeated her as a male, and now she thinks they’re married…"
"They are. By Amazon Law, they -are- married. But what’s this about ‘as a male’?"
"If you don’t know," the doctor said, shaking his head, "it’s not my place to tell you. Odds are, you’ll find out soon enough."
"I’m not sure I want to," Xian Mao muttered. "But is that it? Two people…"
"It’s not. Then, there was Ukyou—"
"I know about Ukyou. I met her this morning, remember?"
The good doctor laughed. "Yes, I do recall. Good thing it wasn’t Akane! You wouldn’t have been able to make it here."
Xian Mao blanched.
"I’m beginning to be very glad I’m not after Ranma’s head… if everyone here is of that caliber or above… I’d be dead meat! Anyone else?"
Dr. Tofu shrugged. "Several, but none of them stayed. I guess it’s not so much that there are a lot of them, as it is that the people who come for Ranma end up doing a good deal of damage… both to him and to the surrounding area."
"May my Goddess and the Ancestors protect me…"
"You may need it. So, tell me. What do you want with Ranma?"
"The Neko-ken. My temple is the only place on the face of the Earth that teaches it, properly at least. Saotome Ranma is the only person we are aware of who has survived improper training with both mind and body intact. Consequently, it didn’t take long for us to get word of him… relatively speaking, at least, given that the temple is about… three days ride by horse to the nearest telephone. So, around two months ago, I set out from my temple… that being about two weeks after we’d gotten the information. I don’t know how long ago Jake sighted Ranma, though. He really doesn’t notice time, so he didn’t date the letter, nor when it was that he heard of the fight on the beach, nor when that fight may have bee. You got any idea, doc?"
Dr. Tofu shook his head.
"Ah, well. Say, do you know where I might be able to stay? Or get a job? I need a home and some money, and I’d really rather not ask the Amazons…"
Tofu quirked an eyebrow at him.
"That’s where I stayed last night. Cologne and I have our… disagreements."
"I see." Dr. Tofu drawled. "Well, I haven’t had a nurse since Cologne showed up… Shampoo used to hold that job. You know anything about first aid or nursing?"
"Good doctor," Xian Mao said with a smile, "I was raised in a monestary. Of -course- I do!"
"I’ve got a spare room. When do you want to start?"